its my life [emiko]

[MADISYN RAE WILLIAMS]

Growing up with eight brothers, Madisyn learned to do a lot of stuff outdoors. She knew how to ride a four wheeler, a snowmobile, she knew how to drive a boat and how to fish, but most importantly, she learned how to skateboard. She learned most of her outdoors skills from her brother Jake; he was now eighteen, two years older than Madisyn. That day when she had woken up, she decided she was going to go skating since she hadn’t been in a while, and since most of her brothers did skateboard, she didn’t think it would be too hard to get one of them to come with her. But of course, all of them were “busy” with other things. She didn’t exactly know what these “things” were, but she had a feeling that it was something stupid that could wait. They just didn’t want to be around their sister anymore, they all had better things to do. Just none of them would admit to it. A lot could change over six months she had learned, and not exactly for the best. She missed having bonding time with her brothers, they were the main boys in her life and she wanted to keep it like that.

Since none of her brothers were going to go with her to the skate park, she decided she’d just go alone and home to find someone there that would skate with her. She didn’t exactly know if she still had the skill in her, but she was going to try anyways, and just hope it would all come back to her as if she had never stopped skating. After slipping into her pair of converse, and put on her black hoodie, she headed to the garage and grabbed one of her brothers skateboard’s and headed down to the street. Madi had never had her own skateboard, she always just borrowed her eldest brothers because he had stopped skating by the time she had learned how to. Once she got down to the street, she started to skate. Of course that’s something she remembered how to do. It wasn’t that hard to keep balance on a skateboard and push yourself a little with your foot to get somewhere. Yeah it was work, but it was also a form of exercise. Even though she had just gotten out of treatment and her mom wouldn’t let her work out anymore because of it, she found the little ways to do it, without it really being considered exercise. She still would go on “walks” and end up running most of the time, though she did eat now. Her mom would keep a close eye on her, and ever since she got back, she’s been required to write down what she ate, when she ate it, and how much of it she ate. She also had to weigh herself every night before going to bed, and write it down to keep a record of her weight. This was recommended by her therapist that she did this, but her mom was the one who made her do it.

Once Madisyn arrived at the skate park, she stopped. She picked up the skateboard and walked over to the edge of the skateboarding bowl before she sat down and dangled her legs over the side. She lay down on her back and stared up at the sky and just thought about everything that had been going on. The skate park had brought back a lot of memories for her. When she had first came here, she was with two of her brothers and a few of their friends. The friends kept staring at her, and a few made fun of her. Of course, this was before she had ended up in the hospital. But there was one boy in particular that would stick up for her. His name was Anthony, and she had a huge crush on him. He was her brothers’ best friend and he was always there to help her skate. He would always stick up for her as well if anyone messed with her. Though he had moved a year ago, and she hadn’t heard from him since. She had always thought about maybe sending him a letter, or giving him a call, but she was just too afraid to even try. He probably wouldn’t remember her anyways. He last time she had been at the skate park, it had been with him and her brother. Her brother had left to go smoke, and it had been just her and Anthony, and he almost kissed her. Though of course, Madi’s brother had to come back, and he freaked out once he saw that his sister was holding his best friends hand. Ever since that day, she didn’t want to go back to that skate park. Yet she did anyways because it was the only place she could really skate, and that day, she really wanted to skate. She wanted things to go back to how they used to be with her brothers and with the few friends that she did have. Not where they were too busy to even talk to her anymore, and not when her friends judged her for being in the hospital. All she wanted now was to have friends who cared about her and to have her old brothers back. The ones who would pick on her and take her out to do stuff. She didn’t want to always go every where by herself.

(c) @ jessica for text banner

[EMIKO TANAKA ST. CLAIRE.]

Emiko visited the skate park on an almost daily basis.

It was an easy way to pick up some cute skater boys and play in bed once she got them good and drunk. To some people, it was perhaps a haven to them to get away from anything and everything. To her, it was just an easy way to get laid. It was probably bad that she thought about it in that way, but she couldn't help it. It was only in her nature to think of some things. And it stayed just like that. But today was not one of the days when she came to pick up boys, instead, today she merely planned on learning how to skateboard. She needed a faster way of transportation and with her car in the shop, walking in her heels from place to place was definitely not agreeable. That was wrong. It wouldn't be hard to find someone to teach her, although she was fairly certain that it would be difficult to find someone who wouldn't try and feel her up.

She adjusted her over-sized white shirt, sleeves hanging off of her shoulders and the straps of a bright, pink tanktop peeking out. She had a few bracelets around her wrists and some overlapping necklaces hanging off her neck. The shirt tightened around her waist, and a pair of black skinny jeans beginning from there on before ultimately ending in her pair of black low-top converse. She looked a little overdressed to be going skateboarding, but eh. Most likely, she wasn't going to move much to begin with. She adjusted her side ponytail, curled brown locks bouncing.

She wandered around aimlessly, raising an eyebrow as she came across some other girl. It was pretty obvious after all. Emiko walked over, raising an eyebrow as she set her Hello Kitty skateboard down and plopping her butt on it. The wheels rolled back and forth as she rolled side to side. She only turned her head quietly, glancing at the girl laying down next to her. "Hey. I'm pretty sure a skate park is for skating, not for daydreaming." Emiko said in a teasing tone, only offering a small smile for once. A change in pace was always nice.

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[MADISYN RAE WILLIAMS]

Madisyn rarely went out anywhere anymore to avoid drama. Usually it was the girls who would start the drama, and that’s exactly why she had come to the skate park. There usually weren’t girls there, well at least when she was there anyways. She enjoyed being there just with the guys. Sometimes she even felt like she was one of the boys. She often got that feeling whenever she was with a ton of guys; mainly her brothers. Most people would say that you only bring drama to yourself, and you can always stay out of it, well she didn’t believe any of that crap. Lately all that happened was her getting dragged into drama that she didn’t need to be in. Her sister usually was the one who had started it. She was nineteen now, and she always was coming and going. Even though her sister and Madi didn’t get along, she would still have to listen to her vent about her latest boyfriend had dumped her, or how her boss was so annoying or how her college professors overloaded her with work and she didn’t have time for it. All of these problems, Madisyn had to listen to because if she didn’t just put up with it, then she would get bitched at later on, and she really didn’t like when people yelled at her, especially her family. It often made her feel worthless when her siblings would constantly yell at her for the littlest reasons.

Getting distracted and daydreaming was something that the sixteen year old was very good at doing. She was doing it so well at that point, that she hadn’t realized somebody else had showed up. Once she heard a voice, Madi quickly sat up and looked over to see a brunette girl sitting there on a skateboard. She took a deep breath and then blinked a few times to realize what was happening. “Sorry, kind of spaced out.” She admitted shyly as she looked down at the ground. Madisyn glanced around the skate park to check for any other people that might have shown up without her knowledge. “I’m Madisyn. But call me Madi.” She turned back to the girl and then moved her legs to sit in a criss-cross applesauce way, like in kindergarten? Those were the days that the girl had missed. Where she had nothing to worry about. She didn’t have to worry about her weight, or how she looked. All that mattered when she was that age was that she didn’t get cooties from boys and that she had gotten all her spelling words right so her mom would the test up on the refrigerator.

Shivering a little, Madi grabbed her skateboard that had been sitting next to her while she daydreamed. She glanced over at the girl and then stood up. “You know how to skate?” She asked surprised. She didn’t know too many girls that could skateboard. When she came there, she would seldom see a female there to actually skate. Sure, she saw them there all the time just to check out the guys, or to sit and gossip with their friends while their boyfriends skated. Those girls were the ones who bugged her, though she would never admit it to anyone. A few times she had been there to skate, there had been girls sitting there just talking and hitting on her brothers. They would call her a boy and tell her she’d never get a boyfriend by being so boyish. Though when she was younger, she never really cared about that. But now if some girl had come to tell her that she would never get a boyfriend because she could skateboard, and wasn’t afraid to get dirty, then she probably would have stopped. Having never kissed a boy, she didn’t want anything getting in the way of her actually having the chance to do it. Not that she was in a rush or anything.. She just didn’t want to go on thinking that she would never have a boyfriend.

(c) @ jessica for text banner

[EMIKO TANAKA ST. CLAIRE.]

Emiko only went out for the drama. There was always a little bit here and there, but never anything all too shocking. Oh my, well Emiko slept with my boyfriend! Well she slept with mine! But really. She slept with both at the same time. Please, people should get their facts straight. Her siblings did nothing for her self esteem. They were all good at things that drew all the attention away from the baby sister, her. Her oldest sisters could all do something talented. The ones she were closer to were like child prodigies. And her? She could barely manage to speak until she was two, couldn't read until she was six. Anything that she could do was nothing compared to her sisters. She was nothing. Just a pretty little face in a family of beautiful people. She was nothing special. It was damn good that her parents shipped them away, far from each other. She didn't want a damn thing to do with any of her family.

Here, she was Emiko Tanaka St. Claire. No one could take that from her. No one could replace her. She wasn't just so and so's little sister anymore.

Spacing out was one of her greatest talents as well, thinking. Just thinking about things, overlooking her life and wondering if she regretted any of it. She didn't. Why regret something that you couldn't change? That was just how it was. That was just how things were. Nothing she could do, nothing that anyone else could do. Why linger on the subject? She only shrugged at response to the blonde, leaning back on her hands. "It's alright, I guess." She said. Madisyn? Madi... oh so that was why she kind of recognized her.

She probably went to school with her. Probably did better too. "Emiko. Just call me Emi though. I'm no fucking anime character." She only snorted at the thought of her mother. Damn woman. Giving her a Japanese name when the rest of her family were named something else. What the fuck, seriously. To say that Emiko wasn't worried about herself, worried about what would become of her if she continued living the way she did, would be wrong. She worried. She was scared.

But of course, being her, she never showed it. It showed weakness.

"Eh, not really. I'm not really into it." She shrugged now, tapping her lips with her index finger. Then she offered a small smile. "I've always wanted to learn though." Well not really, but she didn't really want to say no. She was talking to some skater chick after all. She was probably super hardcore or something. Emiko never really wanted a boyfriend. Of course, she had when she was younger. But by now she had realized that loving someone was just giving the other person an excuse to break them, hurt them, hurt her... her friends may as well have sold their souls to the devil by getting involved with a guy. But she wasn't going to stop them if that was what they wanted. Love was wonderful, love was amazing. She didn't believe a word of it. She didn't need it for her to be happy, damn it.

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[MADISYN RAE WILLIAMS]

Spacing out was something that often happened to Madisyn. It just kind of snuck up on her. It usually happened when she was sitting in class, but didn’t everybody space out in class? There were more important things on her mind then stupid school work. She got good grades as it was, she didn’t find the need to continue to listen to the same things from the same teachers over and over again. Being in treatment often left her with nothing to do because the majority of the time was spent either doing her school work, or sitting by herself figuring out something, just anything to do that would help her not die of boredom. She gained quite the imagination while she was at that hospital because of all the free time she had on her hands. Though she wasn’t complaining, when she was busy babysitting her niece Sofia, she was always coming up with little random things to do with the four year old to keep her entertained until her brother came home so she could leave.

“I guess.” Two words that Madisyn hated. Even though she said it all the time, she still hated the phrase. She hated guessing in general, and when people said it, it made them sound kind of stupid. There were a lot of little things that would bug the girl, and yet she was considered a hypocrite. Though she would never admit that to anyone, she could at least admit it to herself. So instead of saying anything about the whole “I guess” comment the girl had made, she looked over at the girl again. Once she took a good look, she noticed that she was kind of familiar. But she didn’t say anything about it, she’d just wait and see the girl had said anything about knowing her. If she did, and Madi hadn’t remembered who she was, well she’d feel pretty stupid. It would just put her in a super awkward mood.

At her next statement, Madi let out a small laugh. “Emi it is. I like that name.” She gave a small smile and then shook her head. “I like anime, and the characters! Your name is actually really pretty.” Of course, Madi had only watched anime once or twice with her cousin Michael. He was really into that kind of stuff. That and comic books. They were practically his life and every time Madisyn went over to his house, she had to deal with the anime, even if she didn’t get anything that was happening in it. Once Emi had told her that she didn’t really skate and wasn’t that into it, Madi rolled her eyes. Of course. “So your one of the girls who just comes around for the hot guys eh?” She raised her eyebrows and then gave a weak smile to know she was just joking around with her. She didn’t mind girls like that, as long as they weren’t complete bitches, and not totally preppy. She didn’t think Emi was one of those girls, but she wasn’t one to judge so quickly. She was going to get to know her better before she just got up and left, which she thought would happen if she hadn’t said something about actually skateboarding. But once she actually said she wanted to learn, Madi smiled and then stood up. “Time to learn then.” She was being dead serious to. She didn’t even know if she could skateboard alone anymore, and yet she was going to attempt to teach somebody else.

(c) @ jessica for text banner